I got the idea for this blog from another writer. He’s a suspense writer, but one of those with a great sense of humor. His name is Russell Blake and his blog is funny. And now I have just helped promote Russell Blake.

You see, he talks about “self-promotion” which can mean that you’re doing this thing solo. But you can’t. You need others to get the word out about whatever it is and they need to get the word out and on and on. He applies this to his self-published books, and from what he says, he’s enjoying success at it.

As many of you…but not enough of you…know, I have a self-published novel called 5IVE SPEED. The book is self-published and sales are picking up quickly. There are a few things to be taken into account. The first being that it’s a freakin’ hilarious novel. Read the reviews on Amazon and you’ll see. The second issue is that it is now priced at only $0.99 and I realized that seems too low, but my ego survives on volume of books sold and not on monetary gain. So, if you’re looking for great reading entertainment on your Kindle then you must drop a buck and buy the book.

That’s my part of self-promotion. That’s about all I can do. Sure, I Tweet about it and I Facebook about it and I’ve blogged about it, but let’s face it…that’s still relatively narrow exposure. “Self”-promotion can only go so far. What I’m looking for now is public-promotion. I can’t tell you how many people have told me personally that they read and loved the novel 5IVE SPEED on Kindle. So, I thanked them and asked them if they wrote a review on Amazon yet? More often than not, the answer is no. I mean, after all…that would take a good three minutes, and who’s got that kind of time when you have to take a picture of your lunch so you could get it up on Facebook for chrissakes (sorry…I’m just sooo sick of seeing pictures of food on Facebook). But you get my point. If people who read the book posted a small review on Amazon for me, that would be huge. That would be public-promotion!

Another question I ask these big fans of my book is if they’ve re-posted my blogs about it; or Tweeted about it with a link to the Amazon Kindle buying page, or mentioned it on Facebook with the same link. I think you know where I’m going with this. This would mean a huge burst for my sales and it takes the individual about a minute to do it for me. Where is the love, gang?!

No one can make it on self-promotion. I certainly can’t. And the question you may ask is, “Charley…do you do it for anyone else?” And the answer is, “Of course I do! I just did it for Russell Blake! Weren’t you reading?!

So please take it upon yourselves…all of you…to be my public-promotion machine. Self-promotion, like some other things that are done by yourself, could lead to blindness. At least that’s what my mother always told me.

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If you believe in forever
Then life is just a one-night stand
If there’s a rock and roll heaven
Well you know they’ve got a hell of a band

-The Righteous Brothers

It was 1974 when the Righteous Brothers sang about rock and roll stars that were taken from us too soon. Clarence Clemons was added to the list last week. He was sixty-nine years old.

In 1974 if you were to ask me about someone dying when they were sixty-nine years old I would have shrugged my shoulders and said they lived a full life! Now that my rock icons are at that age, it’s all of a sudden ‘cut down in the prime of life’. Clarence Clemons died of a stroke. Old people die of strokes. Are my rock and roll idols old people?

Sure, Bob Dylan has passed seventy…and he just played concerts in Europe and Israel.

I guess what bothers me even more than my rock legends getting old, is that many of them are trying to deny it through the wonders of the plastic surgeon. You didn’t see it with Clarence. You don’t see it with Dylan. The majority of the greats are getting old and they’re pretty much okay with it. But I watched the finale of American Idol and I saw Tom Jones and wanted to shovel dirt on him myself because he was already embalmed. Smokey Robinson? How many years has it been since he’s blinked? Even the rumors of The Boss himself makes me wonder.

Something inside me wants to believe that had Janis Joplin lived, she would not have gone through the surgeries Cher has endured. I want to think she’d look the same but old, still rasping out beauty, and wouldn’t give a damn what she looked like. Jim Morrison would rejoice in his baldness and paunch belly, but could still make you shudder with certain notes. And Elvis? Well, some things even I can’t imagine.

In the Golden Age of Rock, when the music was what it was all about we didn’t care what the singer looked like. Take a look at Flo and Eddie of The Turtles, for chrissakes! It was the music. Just because we’re getting old doesn’t mean the music is dying. They should leave their looks alone. We don’t care about it.

In my novel, 5IVE SPEED, Donald Roth has to come face to face with his middle age and whether or not he’s ready to roll over and play dead. He grew up in that same rock era of Clarence Clemons, and Steely Dan, and The Beatles, and he realizes that maybe it’s not over yet. He’s older. But he’s not done.

That’s why 5IVE SPEED has made all age groups laugh out loud. No matter what your age…you don’t want to give up. The thing that made Clarence Clemons get out of a wheelchair to perform on stage with Lady Gaga is the same thing that makes Donald Roth give himself a second chance at life.

But for those of us in that era of what they now term “Classic Rock”, 5IVE SPEED holds a place close to our hearts. Because in this era where looks are everything and you gotta lift and tighten and tweak and botox, there are still some of us, both famous and ordinary, who are going to keep moving forward and show what we’ve been through just by the looks of us. That’s one of the reasons I lowered the Kindle and eReader price of 5IVE SPEED to $0.99

Because when it comes down to it, it’s about getting the message out to as many people as you can and who wouldn’t pay a buck to laugh a lot. I didn’t learn that from any business course.

That’s what rock and roll is all about.

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Sticking to Guns

Posted: 7th June 2011 by charleywarady in Blog
Tags: , , , , , , ,

I’ve decided to retire on the royalties I’ve made on my novel 5IVE SPEED. Okay, so retirement involves living in a refrigerator box. but fortunately in my neighborhood people are constantly doing renovations and I have found some very nice refrigerator boxes. It can’t be that bad, and at least that way when people ask, I can honestly say I write novels for a living. When a writer comes up with a statement like that, the listener always assumes financial success is attached to the declaration. Guilt by omission has never bothered me when it comes to people thinking more of me than I deserve.

I love my humorous novel, and so far I’ve only heard good things about it from people who have read it. Some who have praised it are not even family and friends. When you write a humor novel and people tell you they laughed out loud, it’s high praise indeed. Admittedly, a humor novel should make you laugh out loud, but seriously…how often has that happened to you? Christopher Moore makes me laugh out loud. David Foster Wallace has made me laugh out loud. If Charley Warady can make you laugh out loud with a novel like 5IVE SPEED, then I will certainly enjoy the company I keep.

Social media has not helped me in quest to increase sales volume for 5IVE SPEED. Recently I asked over 740 followers of mine on Twitter to retweet a plug for the book, and two people did so. Whoever said social media is a great marketing tool has never tried to independently sell a humor novel. You would think the Kindle edition would at least sell, but it has lagged also. I love my Kindle and I don’t understand why everyone doesn’t have a copy of the best humor novel around on it. Or any ebook for that matter. Hell, it even comes in paperback so knock yourself out.

I’m going to stick to my guns because I know and believe the right famous person is going to read it and it’s going to take off. In the meantime, I’ve decided to use two refrigerator boxes.

I’ve always wanted to live in a split-level.

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Politically Correct

Posted: 19th May 2011 by charleywarady in Blog

I just watched Obama’s major address on television concerning the Middle East. I did it for one simple and intricate reason: I wanted to know what the hell everybody was talking about on Twitter.

Distancing myself from politics has seemed to work out well for me lately. No one has mentioned to me that I have been missed from the political spectrum, and I have found that my answer to political questions is the same and works for both political questions and sports related questions. The answer is, “I don’t know…what do YOU think?” In both politics and sports, everyone is simply waiting for me to get around to asking that question anyway, so why not just cut to the chase and save me a lot of effort and wasted research.

Even when I had an opinion on politics and sports, it never changed the broad picture of either and there was no satisfaction. Thankfully, I have enough aggravating things happening in my life that I don’t need artificial agendas to snap my synapses into gear.

But I watched Obama’s speech and wondered what he wanted me to do about what he was saying. There was no call-to-action for my part, and he wasn’t even trying to convince me to vote a certain way. So, while the Twitterverse was alive with activity on reactions, upbraiding, outrages, kudos, baiting, and misinterpretation, I walked away thinking that he should have at least worn a less boring tie.

I read fiction almost all the time. I write fiction. No one will call my novel 5IVE SPEED a work of political magnitude. Thinking about it, I don’t think I mention politics at all in the whole book. And yet, everyone who has read the book has loved it. It doesn’t support any political party, nor does it even endorse any particular sports team. It’s enjoyable in a world that gets all worked up about things they can do nothing about.

Don’t get me wrong; 5IVE SPEED has it’s share of controversy. It gets people to think, and it might change some people’s way of thinking, but these are things that people can actually do something about! But Obama was talking about all these things that are happening in the Middle East and I found myself thinking, “SO WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT?!”

Now let’s talk about religion…

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Win A Kindle

Posted: 6th April 2011 by charleywarady in Uncategorized

I have to be honest with you. The sales of my spectacular novel, 5IVE SPEED, have been less than spectacular. It surprises me slightly, because everyone who reads it loves it and I haven’t heard a discouraging word. And considering the ebook price is $2.99 nobody has mentioned having to save up for it or dipping into the kid’s college fund. But what the heck. That’s showbiz.

I figured it might be time to sweeten the pot. I’m going to be giving away Kindles. The only thing you have to do is buy 5IVE SPEED. If you make a couple reviews and comments, it increases your chances of getting a Kindle. I know you may already have a Kindle, but they make terrific Bar Mitzvah presents. To find out the details you just have to go to the Kindle Giveaway page on my website and it’s all pretty straightforward and simple.

Hopefully I’ll be giving away a bunch of them which wouldn’t bother me in the least. It’s really an “everybody wins” type situation. Oh…and I’d appreciate you all getting the word out about this as much as possible; whether it’s on Facebook or Twitter or your blog or whatever. This is the kind of thing that needs to get around by word of mouth. I’m not expecting “viral” or anything, although that would be sweet, too.

They told me that self-publishing was going to be tough, and I’m seeing it now. But they also told me that if it’s a great book it will do well and eventually sell itself. I’m ready for that to happen, but until this little baby gets legs of its own I’m going to need all the help I can get and I’m depending on you.

Oprah hasn’t read it yet. Obviously, this is one of the problems. But until someone solves that and gets it into her reading hands, we’re going to have to do it without Oprah’s help.

Keep in touch with me as far as the help you’re extending and I will personally thank you. I’m pretty good about those things. Let’s see this little gem of mine take off.

And you might wind up with a free Kindle. Yay.

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